Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
