we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
