he looks like a really good dad on facebook
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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