Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
