'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
