Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
