hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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