I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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