Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
