My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
