i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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