Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
