I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
