What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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