Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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