Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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