what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
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my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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