it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
