1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
People in love make me want to vomit
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Randomize
