The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
