I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she looked like the before picture.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
