I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
