I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
