I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
