so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
