im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
