Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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