Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize