it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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