i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
