You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
