just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
