Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I have tasted many bathrooms
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
