I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
