She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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