awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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