he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
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you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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