if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
