Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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