I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
