It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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