Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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