We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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