I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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