If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
