well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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