u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
