I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
