I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
