I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize