I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think my vagina is haunted
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
it's like heaven, but drunker
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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