It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I am mentally ready for anal.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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