she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
