They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
