im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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