It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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