i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
How does one acquire holy water?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
