I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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