That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
she looked like the before picture.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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