You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
