maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize