Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
