I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize