This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
